So I wanted to remember the last days before you left us. It's as it was jsut yesterday. I came home from work. I noticed a small nose bleed on your face and a big lump on your neck. I asked daddy if you had been sick that day he said no. I hugged you and you had fever. So I took you to the e.r. and I sat and waited and waited for about 6 hours. There had been a huge accident and all the doctors and nurses where busy. So by that time I checked your temp and it was at like 106. Wow I said and I remeber people in the waiting room telling the receptionist to hurry up and get you in. You where very sick. Finally I was in a room...but you started to throw up blood and it was awful. I called the nurse and all she can say was " I will be in there in a few minutes to change the sheets" !! I was so angry that no one was concerned for you. I spoke to the doctor and he said you had strep throat and it was normal to throw up blood. I know that was wrong, I have never seen anyone throw up all that blood. He gave you a shot of antibiotics on your leg and send us home. He said" Don't worry by Monday he will be up running around." That was around 1 am Sunday morning. All day Sunday you slept. You woke up and ate the last meal. It was a bowl of cereal. I thought you where getting better. So that night you slpet in the bed with me and Abby. I remeber waking up around 2 am to feel your forehead see if you where running fever. OMG you where burung up. So I quickly got up and got your medicines. As soon as I gave you your med...blood started gushing from your nose and mouth. Every bit of blood in your body was everywhere. We called 911 and they took what seem forever. You where rushed to Texas Children's Hospital where the doctors where not sure what was going on.  I told them that on Saturday night when I came home from work I noticed a big lump on your left side of your neck. But by Monday morning that lump was gone. So they ran tests and gave you 6 units of blood and all of it kept bleeding out. We waited in a small family room for 6 hours with daddy and one of daddy's friends. Finally around 8 am the dr came in and told me to come i and talk to you hold your hand and kiss see if you would respond but you didn't. I was asked to leave the room and a while after that the dr came in and said we are going to transfer him to icu and we will come back for you. We waited about and hour later the dr came back in and the look on his face I will never forget. I knew at that moment without the needs of any words you where gone!!! He said he is gone his body finally gave out. I felt like fianting I had no strength left in me. It was as if I was in a dream I couldn't wake up from. I cried for hours I couldn't believe it. I went in this dark room where you where laying down and laid in the bed next tyo you. It was as if you where just asleep but when I touched your face to kiss you...you felt so cold so I covered you up. My god you where the most beautiful baby boy. You had the most gorgeous eyes and smile. I wanted to see your eyes and see you smile at me.....You do not know how I hurt so much even after all this years!!! I miss you so much wish I can see you at least one last time and you can tell me you are waitng for me!!! : (